Traditions

Our family traditions are LEGION.  From my side, we have a great deal of Dutch and Swedish.  I think our family is the only one that still sings all four verses of the Dutch birthday song.  We also have, from my lovely wife's side, many British traditions.  Today celebrates one of those traditions, namely, the annual Julbord, or Christmas Smorgasbord.  I look forward to it all year, and the gathering of family and friends that happens far too infrequently. I have been thinking much of traditions, and why we have them.  Traditions bridge gaps that can become chasms between generations.  As I made potatiskorv (Swedish potato sausage) with a compatriot of mine today, I thought of my grandpa Eriksson.  I thought of the times that we made sausage together before his passing.  And I thought of how sad I am that my kids won't meet him in this life.  But when we have traditions, it brings a little bit of those times back, and lets us reminisce on the times that have been.  And it lets us share them in some small respect with our progeny. My kids may not meed their grandfather, but they will know something of him from the traditions that he passed down. 

But what if the tradition has been going on so long, that it no longer has meaning?  A quote from one of my favorite childhood movies comes to mind.." Numbly rehearsing their rituals, in a blur of forgetfulness".  Tradition should be celebrated and encouraged.  But we need to remember that the traditions that we are celebrating have meaning.  In other words, WE NEED TO KNOW WHY WE CELEBRATE THEM.  Tradition without meaning is pointless.

So this holiday season, look to the traditions that you celebrate, and see if maybe... maybe they need to be changed, adapted, or maybe new traditions replace.

"Let's talk about the REAL problem..."

In the summer of 1982, A friend of mine was hiking in the Sierra Nevadas, when his hiking partner told him to look out for the patch of poison ivy he was just about to step into. My friend, being the commensurate outdoorist, protested vehemently that it was NOT poison ivy. After all, he had made an exhaustive study of every type of irritant plant that lived in the area. To show his hiking partner, he immediately rubbed a handful of leaves from the aforementioned plant on his arm. To his shock and dismay, his studies had apparently not been complete. The burning was rather akin to poison ivy. As might be guessed, it was INDEED a variety of poisonous plant that he was not familiar with.

As poison ivy is never a fun experience, my friend decided to visit the closest emergency room for a touch of weekend medical assistance. The doctor who was on the ER rotation came into the cubicle where my friend was sitting. The doctor looked at him for about ten seconds, asked the nurse to get some Tecnu scrub, and then said the words that would change his life...

"Let's talk about the real problem".

The "real problem" that my friend was facing, which to the doctor was referring, was indeed not the self inflicted poison ivy burn. My friend had an extreme case of cystic acne, sometimes referred to as cystic boils. He had lived with this horrible condition since his teenage years. Imagine acne times ten. He could not put a fifty cent piece anywhere on his body, and not have it touch an eruption. The doctor looked at the marks on my friend's body and was able to see the remnants of assorted treatments that had been completely unsuccessful. This man was a dermatologist of no small standing. He described to my friend the treatments that he must have received (completely correct in every case) and asked him about the length and severity of his condition. He then asked my friend if he would like to be part of a study for a new medication indicated for conditions such as my friend suffered from. My friend had tried everything else, what could it hurt?

The medication that he recieved was called Accutane. He was the fourth person in the world to receive this now ubiquitous medication. His condition had completely disappeared in three weeks and has not resurfaced to this day.

THe ER doctor COULD have just ordered the Tecnu scrub and called it good. After all, it took care of the problem, didn't it? The patient had come in for poison ivy burns, so poison ivy burn treatment with Tecnu will take care of the problem, right? (BTW, the Tecnu DID take care of the poison ivy. It's great stuff for that). This is how we are, as a society, treating the horrific murderous rampages that are becoming all too common. We are looking for an easy fix. We are looking for the Tecnu scrub, instead of looking at "the real problem". We aren't looking for the Accutane. And the Tecnu scrub (or not entirely effective solution for all that's going on) in this case is firearms.

Let me be clear, I do not own guns. I am not a member of the NRA. I do not hunt. I am not a shooting sports enthusiast, though I do like to go shooting from time to time. But banning guns is not the answer to the Real Problem. I do find it interesting that the most commonly used tool in violent crimes is NOT a gun, but a baseball bat, very closely followed by large screwdrivers. I have never heard an outcry for Louisville Slugger to pay the damages when someone murders someone else with one of their well crafted sporting implements. Nor do we see Home Depot being picketed for selling the insidious, horrifying, MURDERING screwdriver. As ridiculous as this may seem, it is equally ridiculous to say that firearms are the problem. Firearms are inanimate objects, with no will or volition of their own. They are no more likely to kill someone by jumping up and shooting them, as it is likely that one will be viciously attacked by screwdrivers that jump off the shelf, when one is walking down the hand tools aisle at the local home improvement store.

We need to instead of looking at the temporary, immediate "fix", deal with the Real Problem in these senseless, violent crimes. We need to look for the accutane. We need to address the emasculated, broken healthcare system in our nation, and why it is so hard for those suffering with mental illness to get the care that they so desperately need. Let's not look at the guns. Let's look at the mental health care in our country, and what we can do to help those who need it.

I can't stand it much longer...

So, I am sitting here, waiting for my portfolio II assessment. It is more than nerve racking. This is a make or break moment for my grad studies, whether or not I continue in the program. So I hope I do OK. It's my turn now, so I'll update when I'm done... Update... I'M IN! I got through this thing. THANK YOU ALL THE POWERS THAT BE.

Hair

Give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair

Shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen

Give me down to there, hair, shoulder length or longer

Here baby, there, momma, everywhere, daddy, daddy

Hair, flow it, show it

Long as God can grow, my hair

-from the musical "Hair" , lyrics by James Rado and Gerome Ragni

It's true. My hair is now longer than it has ever been in my life. Since the age of fourteen I have wanted to grow my hair out. There were a few halfhearted, aborted attempts. It is difficult to grow one's hair out when it is curly, as there is a period of about six months when one's hair is horrifying. Nothing at all can be done to it, or for it. It just needs to be waited out. In my teen years, I was unable to get through that stage. Whether it be from my own exasperation with it, or constant and unrelenting statements of opinion from others (*i.e. "your hair is insane", "nappy headed", "homeless man", et cetera), I have always caved and kept it short.

A couple of years ago, I was given the opportunity to work on a series of period films, in the which I would be required to grow my hair and beard. As I generally wear a beard of some kind, this was not a problem. As to my hair... At the time I began actively growing it, I had not had a haircut for a couple of months, and it was into the "horrifying" stage, albeit not too far. My employer at the time had no problem with long hair, or headgear at work, so I was able to wear a hat or do-rag until it was long enough to do something with. Since then I have had my hair trimmed once, and I have been happy with it, overall.

But others in my life, not so much. Some have expressed their opinions to me (unceasingly) on my hair, and how I choose to keep it. Recent comments have ranged from "that's way too long", "look like a diry hippie", "accusations of "mid-life crisis" and up to and including "looks like a sex offender".

-photo courtesy Whitney Bushman (whitney@thevispress.com)

This is a recent pic of me and my lovely and amazingly talented wife. Just for reference on the length of my hair.

I have wanted this hair for most of my life. I am happy that it is this length. I am enjoying it immensely. Yet there are others who do not like it for whatever reason. I do not express my opinions on others dress and grooming, unless it is extreme, or non existent, respectively. So why is it that others continue to vociferously approach DEMANDING that I do what they would do were they me? I have absolutely no problem with expression of opinion. However, one does not need to express the same opinion over and over ad infinitum to the one who your opinion applies. To do so is to risk alienation and discord.

(speaking of hair length)...But if any man seem contentious, we have no such custom, neither in the Churches of God. -I Corinthians. 11:16

Oi. Tired...

I finally got a call from casting so I went to be a dirty biblical era person again. Sorry, I can't post pictures. It's contrary to the contract I signed. I was just being a crowd person, when the director pointed and said "We need that guy in the gray up here". So up I went. I was wondering if I would be recognizable to anyone in these movies. Now I don't really have to worry. If they ever use the footage shot the other day, I'll be front and center. So that was a little comforting. I had a counselling role play this last class... didn't go so well. I feel kinda crappy about it. The "client" was a 17 year old kid, with some oppositional issues who was remanded by the court after breaking into a couple of homes with his friends. He feels like his mom is always on his back. Though I didn't always feel like my mom was fair, I had a really hard time with the client feeling that his mom was a "complete failure" and "Is trying to control all of my life". I had a bit of a hard time identifying with the client. As such, I didn't really get to the point of rapport with him. Crap. I need to remember that that is the most important part of this process. So... anyone a pro at powerpoint? Want to give me lessons? Because I sure am NOT a pro. And it seems that it is used ad nauseum in school now. Been thinking a lot lately about why I do things the way I do. Or not, as the case may be. I have far too difficult a time dealing with injustice in life. I need to get over things far more than I have been able to heretofore. I can't completely change the world and make it into what I would like it to be. But I have a very difficult time coming to grips and accepting things that I perceive as unjust or unfair, or completely unintelligent. I suppose I "do not suffer fools gladly". I think that the desire for things to be different is a good thing, but only if I really, REALLY am making an effort to change those things. To make sure that that difference is being made. If I am not, I guess I'm just crying into my metaphorical beer. I have really come to the realization that though I have the entrepreneurial spirit... I am not a businessman. There. I said it. I need to let someone else do the business side of things, and I need to be the "disciple", the "believer" of the business idea, and be the public proponent. Because I just don't do the other parts so well. I can come up with ideas, but I just don't have the know-how to get them off the floor. And I do come up with some good ideas. I am trying to be more honest with myself, to be more realistic about who I am, and what I want from life. I have wandered for too long, and the paths that I have wandered upon have often times taken me places that I didn't really want to go. I need a map. And I need to make that map.

Catch-up...

Haven't done this in a while. I'm waiting for class to start, in the which I will be doing a role play counseling session with a classmate... in front of the rest of the class. And being critiqued on it. Ow. I have some acting skill, and I would like to think I have some counseling skills, and I am NOT afraid of public speaking. With all that said, it's still a little intimidating. I'm sure I'll do OK. I've been hawking my wares at the Salt Lake City Farmer's market for most of the saturdays this summer. It's been a lot of fun. I've been making some decent money, but nowhere near enough to pay all the bills. I've created a Facebook page for Ravensmoon, and have posted some items there. I think it's going to be a good thing overall. I'm pretty excited about school. I'm scared to death about Portfolio II (UoP has a class set that they use in lieu of the GRE) and whether or not I'll pass it. I do hope so. I don't want to have the related problems that that might bring, not passing, that is. I need to put more effort in, methinks.

Another one bites the dust...

One more class down (ETHICS). I'm stoked. It finally feels that I might do this thing. I might just become a counselor! I'm still paranoid that I won't pass something, but hey... I just keep plugging along. Hopefully I'll actually do it! I got accepted to the Salt Lake City Farmer's market! I'ma kinda excited about that. I hope that I can keep myself in stock of merchandise, and that I can keep up with it! What a dilemma for me to have. But hey. The only problem with that is I don't have the $$$ for all the dates ($500) that I have been given. I hope that this can be all worked out. I'm feeling a little overburdened. I have too many projects. I think I need to get some of the bigger projects done, so I don't feel so overwhelmed. Copper to be made into saleable items, leather pieces constructed, pottery jewels, pallets to process, raised beds made for the Ra, finish the flooring at Mom's house... I'm unsure how to get it all done. One step at a time... Bucket had some hard times yesterday night. I asked him to say the family prayer, and he said some words, wandering attention, eyes open... Tara adressed this with him, and asked why he was having a hard time saying the prayer. He broke down sobbing, and told Tara his "deep dark" secret: that he feels sad most of the time, and that he has thoughts about whether or not religion is a bunch of crap. He felt that having such thoughts was just evil and sinful. He wept on Tara's lap for quite some time. During all of this, I was downstairs regrouping, as I was feeling some significant anger toward the kids, and didn't want to lash out at them. I'm VERY concerned, since I began having depressive issues and such at his age. I'm feeling a bit of a loss as to what to do about that part. I want to be there for my kids and help them to be good, solid people. This is one of my biggest worries, having kids with depression. I hope I can help. With the religiosity problem, I think I can help with that, but again, I hope I can help. I'm just concerned that my influence will be detrimental instead of helpful.

Cat problems?

Monkey (our oldest) has been given the responsibility of scooping the litterbox in the basement (I don't think that that's an extreme responsibility for a 12 year old). She most often finds a way to not do this chore. Granted, a litterbox IS stinky and gross, but it is part of having a cat. This chore hs been delegated to her for a multitude of reasons. The most salient one is this: Lady Arat or I shouldn't have to do all such things round the house. If you have a cat you should scoop the litterbox. She claims one of the cats as hers. Therefore, we have delegated the litterbox in the basement to her. This is the ONLY dedicated chore that she has at present aside from keeping her room clean (which is another story altogether). She has not been scooping the litterbox with any sort of regularity. Yesterday, she thought that closing the bathroom door (where the litterbox is housed) was a good idea to keep the litterbox from smelling. Imagine what it was like when we opened the door. The level of ammonia made breathing nigh unto impossible. Really. We have tried all sorts of positive and negative consequences for compliance (or non) on litterbox duty, to no avail. We finally decided to let her know, in person face to face and IN WRITING, that if she did not hold up her part, that we were going to have to divest ourselves of one of the cats. This was to be done to make the litter that she refused to scoop last longer. WE are on a very tight budgetr with me having no employ, and anything we can do to save even a little is keenly felt. As one of our cats could not care less where it lives as long it is fed, we decided to let that one be the one finding a new home. It just so happens that that is the one that she claims as "her" cat. One might think that the loss of a pet might be a motivator for action. But not for Monkey. She has neglected to scoop the litterbox regardless. So this last week, Lady Arat posted the cat on Craigslist in the "free" section. Mind you, no one will really want this cat, though she is a pretty beast. She's old. She has some health problems. There is a reason we sometimes refer to her as "the booger beast". Cat boogers? Yup, it's gross. Here is where the problems have arisen. Will the removal of a beloved pet from inaction cause trauma in a child? Absolutely. But such removal can also be had when one leaves a pet turtle out in the sun, or a gate open for a dog that runs out into the street. This COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED. There have been some whom I have spoken to about our decision whom have been very supportive. And there are some who have not been so. It happens in any parenting situation that someone else does not approve of another's methods. I do not ask others to approve of what we do as parents in regard to our children, so long as what we are doing is not abusive to our children. But I would hope that they respect us as people enough to understand that we all have a different perspective on parenting, and that those perspectives do not always jive with each other. But that does not mean that one is wrong and another right. They are just different. If my solution for lack of litterbox cleanliness was a close meeting with a fast moving belt, that's one thing. I'd kinda expect being called on that. That's abusive to me. But to remove a belonging from one's home that is not being cared for by the designated caregiver is quite another. I realize that a pet is different than say, a toy or a bicycle. But it is a pet. And if it is not being cared for as has been required, it should go to a situation where it will be cared for appropriately. If we REALLY wanted the cat gone, the consequence would be "don't keep the litterbox clean? Your cat goes to the shelter". At this point, Monkey needs to realize that a pet (or anything else) is a privilege one EARNS. And she is not earning this privilege.

When will I figure it out?

Lady Arat came home from a women's conference at our church, and came home with an... interesting observation. One of the speakers is a curator at the MOA at BYU. He was talking about how we need art in our lives and how so many don't differentiate between art, and craft. Lady Arat had the observation that I was not feeling fulfilled by what I havew been doing, is because much of what I have been making is craft, not art. Now, don't get me wrong. Craft has it's place and there is much to be enjoyed and valued there. But as an artist, doing mostly craft... It was not getting me what I needed. It was quite epiphanic for me. I sometimes wonder when I will figure these things out. I am so glad for my lovely wife who can hear something and realize that it is something that I would need to hear. That, and that she would pass it along to me as well... So I have decided to work on things that I can put part of myself into, things that bring me joy, first and foremost. Cool item for this post:

These pottery jewels have been a LOT of fun lately. They are tempermental, and do NOT always come out the way that one might like. But sometimes...

Intentional consumption

Y'know... sometimes... chicken soup is just SO good. (particularly when you made it yourself)! But I digress from the doings of the day... Though it does fit with intentional consumption... I MEANT to eat that soup!

I heard a speaker recently talk on the importance of interacting versus consuming media. It hit me rather forcefully, and with some thought (not to mention encouragement from my lovely wife), I am endeavouring to change my media habits. I have found (as have others) that when you just consume what is "out there", and don't interact in a meaningful way, it can get you into places you don't really want to be, literally or not. I think that that is one of the problems of the coming generations, how to deal with all of the media and information coming at you from all quarters at light speed, and still have real and worthwhile interaction with the world. So I choose to interact, versus consume. So there you go. My part is to do this blog, and to make and list stuff so it can be sold. I need to spread the nifty far and wide!

Nifty item for the post:


Sometimes they just come out SO nicely... These pottery jewel necklaces are kind of a crap shoot, in that I'm not exactly certain how they will ever turn out. This one is nice, though. White stoneware clay, pale yellow glaze and two colours of glass. About the size of a USA quarter (maybe a bit bigger) in diameter. Check them all out at:
http://www.mossbottle.etsy.com

Cheers!

Classes are interesting...

I've had a good time in my graduate studies... but this last class leaves something to be desired. A classmate put it this way: "I feel more like I am playing hide and seek than being in a class". Oh my. That about sums it up. Week by week, I am unsure as to what exactly is expected by this instructor. It's irritating, at best.

I was recently approached by a company to produce items for them. There was some differences with the creative director, so I had to turn it down. It would have been a fun thing, but I refuse to work with condescending people. I have enough to contend with without that in my life.

I realise that I have TONS of assorted crap floating about that needs to be made available to the public. I joke that it kinda piles up, but there is truth to that statement. The biggest problem is that I don't take such good pictures. So even thoguh the item may be as cool as all get out, if I have a craptastic picture, no one would want it. O well. More practice with the camera!

I really need to be making more. It's getting bad, methinks. Having no job for this long has been hard on me. I try not to show that it is killing me and that I am feeling a significant lack of worth, if I let myself go. I don't know that taking a mind numbing job would help. I hope so, as it seems that that is all that is available to me at this point.

Playing with pallets is fun! Wow, I just realized that the previous statement makes me sound like I am the most boring person ever. I have been scrounging pallets from worksites and the like, and making them into furniture! Really. It's been a lot of fun knowing that I have made something cool out of something that is only a couple of steps at best from the landfill. I'll post a pic when I have one.

Scored a sweet deal at the Provo DI this week, which is a coup within itself. That place is SO picked over. It's a madhouse when they even bring out a cart. People swarm the workers, not even letting them get the stuff to the floor. It's strange. Anyway, I found a GREAT chair and ottoman. Lady Arat refers to it as my "papa bear chair". Solid wood frame with leather upholstery. I looked at it and realized that this was a REALLY expensive piece. $70 took home a (most likely) $2000 piece of furniture. All it needed was a liberal application of leather conditioner. I was most pleased. Again, I'll post a pic when I have one.

Clean studio? O NOES!!11!!!

I have a paper that needs writing. And I REALLY don't want to do it. Ah well.

My lovely sweet wife helped me clean up and re-arrange my studio last night. It's so much more workable, it's the most marvellous thing! Thank you so much Rara!

Nothing too exciting to report. Making stuff, as usual...

Item of the post:



No, not the dog! The collar! Some people...

Valentine's day...

The annual opportunity for men to self flagellate... :)

This year, all i was able to get my sweet was a card. Then, I got on KSL, and saw a FICUS for FREE! YAY! It's nice when things work out in this fashion...

I think it's a little sad that people would need a reason to tell the people that they love that they love them. Shouldn't need a special occasion. Go tell them, often. YOu can never tell someone how you feel about them too much. Well, I suppose if it was all you said, all the time, ad nauseum...

So off I go to get the wifey a TREE!

Oh, and Tara...

I LOVE YOU!

Item for the post:


Chainmaille tie? Yes, it is true!
http://www.chanemaile.etsy.com

UPDATE!!!
the tree... it is HYOOGE! I'll have to post a pic when I get home... It is really gigantic. It was painfully rootbound, with a large taproot that had penetrated the bottom of the pot and twisted round and round the saucer multiple times. I'd wager this thing hasn't been repotted for a decade. We'll see how well it survives. It IS a ficus, after all...

They're BAAAACK!

The wifey and boy have returned victorious from their Disney sojourn. Huzzah! I'm glad. It's funny how much you can miss a person when they are gone. Sounds obvious, i know...

I really am glad for my family. Even when things are not as good as they could be, I am happy that I belong to this little motley group. It's so incredibly worthwhile.

Item for the post...



http://www.mossbottle.etsy.com

*GASP* CAN IT BE SO?

Two posts in two days! Will the wonders never cease?

I have decided to tackle a supply of small tasks that have eluded completion for some time. I've knocked a few down, but have more to go. it's nice to keep one's self busy, particularly if that busy comes with sense of accomplishment.

I need to find a model for some of this stuff I make. For necklaces and the like my mannequin works like a charm, but for earrings and bracelets... Not so much. I'll have to dig round and see who I know who is amenable to such a suggestion!

I've had a lot of fun with the two younger kids, much more than i would have thought. They are so darn clever and observant. The fact that they process their observations in an ...unorthodox... fashion is not lost on me. It reminds me of my childhood, and how we were different than most kids around us. I think I need more work at channeling their cleverness and creativity. Beter than I channeled my own.

I expected the house to degrade into a horrifying mess without Lady Arat about, but I have had a great deal of successin keeping things orderly. Much of this has to do with the kids pitching in. Monkey has been invaluable, and a hearty thanks to the Mutti for her assistance as well. Nini and W have not argued (much) with me when I tell them that their mess needs cleaning.

I am so exceedingly grateful for my family. But I have been made KEENLY aware this week of how inexplicably grateful I am for my wife. I have not always treated her as well as I should. For this I will attempt to gain forgiveness and rectify my shortsightedness and foolish self centred behaviors. I'm getting better at this, and will continue to do so. I have come so close to losing her, and I will NEVER skate that line again. She has been the bright spot in my existence when all else seemed a gray, dark haze. She has pulled me back from the brink in some of my worst moments, and helped me back to the light, and to a better place. I love so many, many things about her. The way her forehead wrinkles up when she is disbelieving, the way her right upper canine sometimes catches when she smiles. How she takes care of our kids with a gentle, yet firm hand, how she is on top of everything in our household. The way she is supportive of my weirdnesses. How she tolerated my long hair, because, in her words, " I like it, because YOU like it". I could go on and on. Sufficeth to say, she is the light of my life, and without her... well, I don't even want to CONSIDER such a thing. Because it is worse than that dark place I have so often (and with less and less frequency) gone to.

Item for the post:



I'm enjoying these jewels more and more. I've been experimenting with them as of late, so more should be forthcoming. Huzzah!

Lady Arat is off to Walt's World with Bucket and Grandma. Grandma has decided that she would take each of the kiddiewinkies to Dizzyland when they were 9-10 or so. But she had some trepidation on taking Bucket by himself, so OF COURSE, Lady Arat had to tag along. What a horrible fate! :P

I have been having lots of fun with the kids since I have been home more. It's frustrating, to say the least, that I have no job to speak of, but I am trying my utmost to take it in stride. Some days I do better than others. I think that's kinda how it goes.

I have made the very difficult decision to let the Ravensmoon website die. I have been doing Ravensmoon in one form or another since 1994. Even though orders have petered out to almost nothing, it is still hard to see something that has been such a part of one's life fade into oblivion. But change is inevitable.

I just realized yesterday who was in the superbowl. That is how much I couldn't care less about pro sports. A bunch of petulant babies paid MILLIONS to play children's games. Can you tell it is kind of disgusting to me? I refuse to support it in any way.

School has been good. I've been doing well in all of my classes, which is rather the change for me. I'm not stupid, by any measure, but I have never done well in school. I think this has a large part to do with having undiagnosed ADHD, and now having treatment for said disorder. It's been COMPLETELY different. In a marvellous way.

Here is the item for this post: A lovely new pottery jewel I posted just today!



This can be found in my etsy shop: http://mossbottle.etsy.com