Give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there, hair, shoulder length or longer
Here baby, there, momma, everywhere, daddy, daddy
Hair, flow it, show it
Long as God can grow, my hair
-from the musical "Hair" , lyrics by James Rado and Gerome Ragni
It's true. My hair is now longer than it has ever been in my life. Since the age of fourteen I have wanted to grow my hair out. There were a few halfhearted, aborted attempts. It is difficult to grow one's hair out when it is curly, as there is a period of about six months when one's hair is horrifying. Nothing at all can be done to it, or for it. It just needs to be waited out. In my teen years, I was unable to get through that stage. Whether it be from my own exasperation with it, or constant and unrelenting statements of opinion from others (*i.e. "your hair is insane", "nappy headed", "homeless man", et cetera), I have always caved and kept it short.
A couple of years ago, I was given the opportunity to work on a series of period films, in the which I would be required to grow my hair and beard. As I generally wear a beard of some kind, this was not a problem. As to my hair... At the time I began actively growing it, I had not had a haircut for a couple of months, and it was into the "horrifying" stage, albeit not too far. My employer at the time had no problem with long hair, or headgear at work, so I was able to wear a hat or do-rag until it was long enough to do something with. Since then I have had my hair trimmed once, and I have been happy with it, overall.
But others in my life, not so much. Some have expressed their opinions to me (unceasingly) on my hair, and how I choose to keep it. Recent comments have ranged from "that's way too long", "look like a diry hippie", "accusations of "mid-life crisis" and up to and including "looks like a sex offender".
This is a recent pic of me and my lovely and amazingly talented wife. Just for reference on the length of my hair.
I have wanted this hair for most of my life. I am happy that it is this length. I am enjoying it immensely. Yet there are others who do not like it for whatever reason. I do not express my opinions on others dress and grooming, unless it is extreme, or non existent, respectively. So why is it that others continue to vociferously approach DEMANDING that I do what they would do were they me? I have absolutely no problem with expression of opinion. However, one does not need to express the same opinion over and over ad infinitum to the one who your opinion applies. To do so is to risk alienation and discord.
(speaking of hair length)...But if any man seem contentious, we have no such custom, neither in the Churches of God. -I Corinthians. 11:16
I've already given my opinion, so as you've pointed out there's no need to reiterate it here.
ReplyDeleteAs I see it, when it comes to matters of dress and grooming, there are three entities whose opinions one should take into account:
1) Oneself.
2) One's spouse or life partner.
3) One's current or future employer.
If you're pleased with your appearance, I'm happy for you. If your wife is likewise pleased with your appearance, that's spiffy. And if you're fortunate enough to be employed by a person or organization that has no problem with your hair length, well, mazel tov. And I don't think anyone can argue against the point that it's your hair and you can do what you like with it (it is, and you can).
However, the decision you make to alter your appearance is a choice that, for good or ill, bears attendant social consequences. I've been making an effort to alter my appearance in the past year by losing weight, and most people consider this a positive change. People treat me a little differently now that I've lost 50 pounds, and I expect more positive social feedback as I lose 50 more. Yet I'm still the same person inside as I was when the cashier at a sporting goods store refused to acknowledge my existence. Thanks to the vagaries of human nature, I was judged and continue to be judged by my external appearance. It may not be entirely fair, but it's a fact, and facts need to be reckoned with.
Will potential future employers take a pass on hiring you because of your grooming habits? If you're currently drowning in job offers, then the answer is "no" and you need not consider your hair length any further. Otherwise, you will need to figure it into your calculations as you seek employment to support a family.
I hope this hasn't been too offensive.