Why I have decided to choose to be humble...

In 2004 I was not well. I was feeling sick all of the time, working 80+ hours a week, couldn't sleep... I was always thinking along the lines of "Be a man, suck it up", etc... It took me a visit to the hospital in real, significant pain to realize that I needed SOMETHING. I couldn't do it on my own. It was past time to figure out what was going on. By that time, the problem had become acute, and what could have been a minor issue had by that time become so bad, that I required major abdominal surgery.

Let me back up a bit. I have haemolytic elliptocytosis. Yes, gesundheit, I know. It is a blood condition where my red blood cells are (mostly) ellipses instead of discs. The only time(s) in life that this is a problem is at birth, when the shear forces in the blodstream cause the cells to rupture, which results in a significant case of hyperbilirubinism (infantile jaundice). I spent my first week of life in the hospital with a systemic blood transfusion and under the UV lights to break it down so my body could process it correctly. The OTHER time is what made me sick, and required surgery. One of the two jobs of the spleen (besides holding extra white blood cells as a vanguard for infection) is to aid the liver in the destruction and disposal of old or damaged red blood cells. For some unknown reason, my spleen began recognizing the elliptical cells as "damaged". So in order to do it's "job", it began to destroy effectively ALL of my red blood cells. I became massively anemic, which accounted for the feeling sick and always being tired. The other thing my spleen decided was to grow to take on "all the extra work". A normal adult spleen is about the size of a fist. Mine (when they took it out) was about half the size of a basketball. Part of it had infarcted (died) and it was pushing other organs out of place. Needless to say, this was NOT a pleasant experience for me. The other problem was that all of the extra bilirubin from the RBC destruction went through my gall bladder, formed a massive number of stones, and in essence ripped it to pieces. When they went in, they found it... in seven pieces, four of which they had to REALLY look for to find.

If I had been more humble, and admitted I needed help when it was a "little thing", I could have avoided the pain and suffering, an acute medical condition that if I had continued in my stubbornness, would have killed me, the massive surgery that during which I nearly died twice, and the eight months of recovery that comes from a standard laparotomy. I learned what it says in the scriptures is true, that one can CHOOSE to be humble, or one will be COMPELLED to be humble. I had to be compelled to admit I couldn't do it all on my own. AND it was MUCH more painful than it needed to be, due to my being stubborn. During the many months of recovery I also required help. I needed help for BASIC things… such as going to the restroom. I couldn’t walk that far. I couldn’t get up off the toilet by myself for the first while. Talk about being humbled.

It did however, give me a much more understanding view of life. Facing death and having real lasting suffering in some small way helped me to understand that we are ALL suffering, though it is not always as obvious as one might think. Mine was not obvious, but it was VERY real. Once I understood that in the much more real fashion that it now was (is), I am able to see that I am no better or worse, that I am just as needful of humility and kindness and mercy as anyone. And If I want to have those things, and have the mercy of the Lord extended to me, I need to realize in all things that I am nothing. Because of this, how much more do I need the kindness and understanding of others? That though I suffered, HE suffered for us all. And through that small suffering of mine I need to be more thankful of how marvellous life is, even with all of its challenges. It is a wonderful time to be alive, and I need to revel in it, and allow others to do so, and to give them the love and kindness our Lord would. At least, as much as I am able to.

Oh. Kids are FUNNY. That's all I gotta say. FUNNY.

Here is the item I recently made for the day:


POttery jewels are fun, as you never know how they are going to come out. This (and others) can be found at my pottery shop:
http://www.mossbottle.etsy.com
Christmas, it is a'comin!

Jobless...

It kinda sucks. Not a little.
Thanksgiving is this week. I have much to be grateful for. Though I am sans employ, I have a marvellous family, a comfortable home, and relatively good health. I have the skills and abilities I have gleaned. Most of all, I have Tara. She has put up with so much from me, and still stays by my side. I am eternally grateful for her. I am thankful for God's attentiveness to my family and my life.

All in all, I would be completely ungrateful to complain about any aspect of my life.

Asking blessings of the kiln gods...

It has become a protracted and amusing joke, the gods of pottery. It started when I was in college, don't remember who it was who was the first... They really have no names or other designations, but they MUST BE APPEASED with sacrifices of... what else? Pottery. The kiln gods are apparently the most flighty of these, as their whims can only, at best, be hoped to be positive for the one firing the kiln. I am going to open the kiln in just a little bit. I am... hesitant. I'm always a little scared to open a kiln and see if the kiln gods have smiled upon me and bestowed upon me marvellous finished wares. We shall see.

UPDATE:

Nothing died! That's a plus. Some things didn't fire out completely though, necessitating another firing later... But that can wait a bit. *whew*!

It finally happened...

My employer decided that I wasn't needed (or wanted) anymore. So now I am unemployed.
It's a scary term, unemployed. There is a sort of foetor hovering about it, always waiting to infuse you with it's reek, covering you with it's miasmic awfulness. While I am NOT sad to put my former employ behind me, I am now in the ranks of those who are in nned of gainful employment. One part of me would love to try and make a go of the "making stuff", but I realize, barring some major unforeseen event, that that is probably not in the cards at this time.
Speaking of stuff, here is a pic of one of my latest creations...

It is a pendant made of black clay with orange glass. The tree that seems to appear was a little gift from the kiln gods. I won't say no to that! It is actually available for sale in (one of) my etsy shop(s):
http://mossbottle.etsy.com
Shop early, shop often!

BIRTHDAY TIME!!!

WE have two birthday seasons in our family. Lady Arat's birthday and mine are two days apart (oct. 6 and 8), and the kids are all in April, May or June. Today is my Honey's birthday! YAY! I have a few plans... (muhahahaha...)

I feel that in the last few months I have been lax in my attentiveness to my wonderful wife. That I have been taking her for granted is factual. But no more. I realise how incredibly important she is to me, and how much I need her in my life. I want to be the best husband and lover to her I can be. I'll do the best I can!

I hope it's a happy birthday for you, my sweet!

Birthday...?

Today is my 39th birthday.
Honestly, I never thought I would make it this long. I was pretty sure I would flame out in some indulgence of insanity LONG ago. But I am glad that that occurence has never come to fruition.
39 is a weird age in my family. On December 12, 1981, Danny Lee Buck was killed in a car accident in Concord, California. He was my dad. He was 39 years old.
I think I'm one of the only people around who is going to be EXCEEDINGLY happy to see his 40th birthday roll around. I'll feel like I dodged that bullet.
Lady Arat made my a LOVELY cake today. I always say that "Bacon makes ANY food better". SO she found the ultimate: A BACON CHOCOLATE CAKE RECIPE. No kidding. ANd how was it? INCREDIBLE. Chocolate overload with bacon? What could I NOT love? Like I have said earlier, how did I ever get so lucky as to have her? I don't know, but I do know I'll not jinx it.
For good measure, I'll add the cake picture, along with me grinning like an idiot.

There you are.

I did it. YAY ME!

I haven't posted in this long... I guess I'd best start afresh!

So I did it. I got into grad school. I never would have thought I'd be doing this, but it is a wonderful feeling. In two years I will have an Msc, masters of science in counseling. How I got to this crux is a VERY long story and I really don't type THAT well... Suffice to say, it has been a long hard road. But good, in the end.

I have the most AMAZING wife. Sorry to everyone else out there who didn't get her. SHE IS MINE! HAHAHAHAHA! Oh. Sorry. Even with all of the strains, trials and difficulties, she has stayed. Not just that, but she has done a downright UNBELIEVABLE job of it. I am lucky to even know of her existence, let alone be married to her... How did I get so blessed?

Ahem. Ok. As I have said before, I make stuff... hence the name of the blog. What do I make, pray tell? SO glad you asked. I ... well... I make... Hmmm...

This kinda stuff!

I like to call myself a "non media specific three dimensional artist", for the most part, but I think it is more accurate to say that I am an artisan. I love to make and create things of beauty, that have an intrinsic purpose BESIDES the beauty. Not that beauty alone is an unworthy undertaking. I just like what I create to have... purpose. I work (mostly) in clay, metals, glass, paper, plastic... Anything I can get my hands on, really. Lately, it has been copper wire. (did you know? Copper is one of only three elemental metals that is not silver or gray in it's natural state? It's true! Gold and Caesium are the others). I have been making little tidbits like the one at the top of the post. I have been selling (or trying to, anyway) such nifties in (one of) my Etsy shops:

http://industreal.etsy.com/

Interested in something else? I'm more than happy to graciously attempt to create anything. Sometimes with only VERY limited success... But you don't know if you don't try, eh?