Classes are interesting...

I've had a good time in my graduate studies... but this last class leaves something to be desired. A classmate put it this way: "I feel more like I am playing hide and seek than being in a class". Oh my. That about sums it up. Week by week, I am unsure as to what exactly is expected by this instructor. It's irritating, at best.

I was recently approached by a company to produce items for them. There was some differences with the creative director, so I had to turn it down. It would have been a fun thing, but I refuse to work with condescending people. I have enough to contend with without that in my life.

I realise that I have TONS of assorted crap floating about that needs to be made available to the public. I joke that it kinda piles up, but there is truth to that statement. The biggest problem is that I don't take such good pictures. So even thoguh the item may be as cool as all get out, if I have a craptastic picture, no one would want it. O well. More practice with the camera!

I really need to be making more. It's getting bad, methinks. Having no job for this long has been hard on me. I try not to show that it is killing me and that I am feeling a significant lack of worth, if I let myself go. I don't know that taking a mind numbing job would help. I hope so, as it seems that that is all that is available to me at this point.

Playing with pallets is fun! Wow, I just realized that the previous statement makes me sound like I am the most boring person ever. I have been scrounging pallets from worksites and the like, and making them into furniture! Really. It's been a lot of fun knowing that I have made something cool out of something that is only a couple of steps at best from the landfill. I'll post a pic when I have one.

Scored a sweet deal at the Provo DI this week, which is a coup within itself. That place is SO picked over. It's a madhouse when they even bring out a cart. People swarm the workers, not even letting them get the stuff to the floor. It's strange. Anyway, I found a GREAT chair and ottoman. Lady Arat refers to it as my "papa bear chair". Solid wood frame with leather upholstery. I looked at it and realized that this was a REALLY expensive piece. $70 took home a (most likely) $2000 piece of furniture. All it needed was a liberal application of leather conditioner. I was most pleased. Again, I'll post a pic when I have one.

Clean studio? O NOES!!11!!!

I have a paper that needs writing. And I REALLY don't want to do it. Ah well.

My lovely sweet wife helped me clean up and re-arrange my studio last night. It's so much more workable, it's the most marvellous thing! Thank you so much Rara!

Nothing too exciting to report. Making stuff, as usual...

Item of the post:



No, not the dog! The collar! Some people...

Valentine's day...

The annual opportunity for men to self flagellate... :)

This year, all i was able to get my sweet was a card. Then, I got on KSL, and saw a FICUS for FREE! YAY! It's nice when things work out in this fashion...

I think it's a little sad that people would need a reason to tell the people that they love that they love them. Shouldn't need a special occasion. Go tell them, often. YOu can never tell someone how you feel about them too much. Well, I suppose if it was all you said, all the time, ad nauseum...

So off I go to get the wifey a TREE!

Oh, and Tara...

I LOVE YOU!

Item for the post:


Chainmaille tie? Yes, it is true!
http://www.chanemaile.etsy.com

UPDATE!!!
the tree... it is HYOOGE! I'll have to post a pic when I get home... It is really gigantic. It was painfully rootbound, with a large taproot that had penetrated the bottom of the pot and twisted round and round the saucer multiple times. I'd wager this thing hasn't been repotted for a decade. We'll see how well it survives. It IS a ficus, after all...

They're BAAAACK!

The wifey and boy have returned victorious from their Disney sojourn. Huzzah! I'm glad. It's funny how much you can miss a person when they are gone. Sounds obvious, i know...

I really am glad for my family. Even when things are not as good as they could be, I am happy that I belong to this little motley group. It's so incredibly worthwhile.

Item for the post...



http://www.mossbottle.etsy.com

*GASP* CAN IT BE SO?

Two posts in two days! Will the wonders never cease?

I have decided to tackle a supply of small tasks that have eluded completion for some time. I've knocked a few down, but have more to go. it's nice to keep one's self busy, particularly if that busy comes with sense of accomplishment.

I need to find a model for some of this stuff I make. For necklaces and the like my mannequin works like a charm, but for earrings and bracelets... Not so much. I'll have to dig round and see who I know who is amenable to such a suggestion!

I've had a lot of fun with the two younger kids, much more than i would have thought. They are so darn clever and observant. The fact that they process their observations in an ...unorthodox... fashion is not lost on me. It reminds me of my childhood, and how we were different than most kids around us. I think I need more work at channeling their cleverness and creativity. Beter than I channeled my own.

I expected the house to degrade into a horrifying mess without Lady Arat about, but I have had a great deal of successin keeping things orderly. Much of this has to do with the kids pitching in. Monkey has been invaluable, and a hearty thanks to the Mutti for her assistance as well. Nini and W have not argued (much) with me when I tell them that their mess needs cleaning.

I am so exceedingly grateful for my family. But I have been made KEENLY aware this week of how inexplicably grateful I am for my wife. I have not always treated her as well as I should. For this I will attempt to gain forgiveness and rectify my shortsightedness and foolish self centred behaviors. I'm getting better at this, and will continue to do so. I have come so close to losing her, and I will NEVER skate that line again. She has been the bright spot in my existence when all else seemed a gray, dark haze. She has pulled me back from the brink in some of my worst moments, and helped me back to the light, and to a better place. I love so many, many things about her. The way her forehead wrinkles up when she is disbelieving, the way her right upper canine sometimes catches when she smiles. How she takes care of our kids with a gentle, yet firm hand, how she is on top of everything in our household. The way she is supportive of my weirdnesses. How she tolerated my long hair, because, in her words, " I like it, because YOU like it". I could go on and on. Sufficeth to say, she is the light of my life, and without her... well, I don't even want to CONSIDER such a thing. Because it is worse than that dark place I have so often (and with less and less frequency) gone to.

Item for the post:



I'm enjoying these jewels more and more. I've been experimenting with them as of late, so more should be forthcoming. Huzzah!

Lady Arat is off to Walt's World with Bucket and Grandma. Grandma has decided that she would take each of the kiddiewinkies to Dizzyland when they were 9-10 or so. But she had some trepidation on taking Bucket by himself, so OF COURSE, Lady Arat had to tag along. What a horrible fate! :P

I have been having lots of fun with the kids since I have been home more. It's frustrating, to say the least, that I have no job to speak of, but I am trying my utmost to take it in stride. Some days I do better than others. I think that's kinda how it goes.

I have made the very difficult decision to let the Ravensmoon website die. I have been doing Ravensmoon in one form or another since 1994. Even though orders have petered out to almost nothing, it is still hard to see something that has been such a part of one's life fade into oblivion. But change is inevitable.

I just realized yesterday who was in the superbowl. That is how much I couldn't care less about pro sports. A bunch of petulant babies paid MILLIONS to play children's games. Can you tell it is kind of disgusting to me? I refuse to support it in any way.

School has been good. I've been doing well in all of my classes, which is rather the change for me. I'm not stupid, by any measure, but I have never done well in school. I think this has a large part to do with having undiagnosed ADHD, and now having treatment for said disorder. It's been COMPLETELY different. In a marvellous way.

Here is the item for this post: A lovely new pottery jewel I posted just today!



This can be found in my etsy shop: http://mossbottle.etsy.com

Why I have decided to choose to be humble...

In 2004 I was not well. I was feeling sick all of the time, working 80+ hours a week, couldn't sleep... I was always thinking along the lines of "Be a man, suck it up", etc... It took me a visit to the hospital in real, significant pain to realize that I needed SOMETHING. I couldn't do it on my own. It was past time to figure out what was going on. By that time, the problem had become acute, and what could have been a minor issue had by that time become so bad, that I required major abdominal surgery.

Let me back up a bit. I have haemolytic elliptocytosis. Yes, gesundheit, I know. It is a blood condition where my red blood cells are (mostly) ellipses instead of discs. The only time(s) in life that this is a problem is at birth, when the shear forces in the blodstream cause the cells to rupture, which results in a significant case of hyperbilirubinism (infantile jaundice). I spent my first week of life in the hospital with a systemic blood transfusion and under the UV lights to break it down so my body could process it correctly. The OTHER time is what made me sick, and required surgery. One of the two jobs of the spleen (besides holding extra white blood cells as a vanguard for infection) is to aid the liver in the destruction and disposal of old or damaged red blood cells. For some unknown reason, my spleen began recognizing the elliptical cells as "damaged". So in order to do it's "job", it began to destroy effectively ALL of my red blood cells. I became massively anemic, which accounted for the feeling sick and always being tired. The other thing my spleen decided was to grow to take on "all the extra work". A normal adult spleen is about the size of a fist. Mine (when they took it out) was about half the size of a basketball. Part of it had infarcted (died) and it was pushing other organs out of place. Needless to say, this was NOT a pleasant experience for me. The other problem was that all of the extra bilirubin from the RBC destruction went through my gall bladder, formed a massive number of stones, and in essence ripped it to pieces. When they went in, they found it... in seven pieces, four of which they had to REALLY look for to find.

If I had been more humble, and admitted I needed help when it was a "little thing", I could have avoided the pain and suffering, an acute medical condition that if I had continued in my stubbornness, would have killed me, the massive surgery that during which I nearly died twice, and the eight months of recovery that comes from a standard laparotomy. I learned what it says in the scriptures is true, that one can CHOOSE to be humble, or one will be COMPELLED to be humble. I had to be compelled to admit I couldn't do it all on my own. AND it was MUCH more painful than it needed to be, due to my being stubborn. During the many months of recovery I also required help. I needed help for BASIC things… such as going to the restroom. I couldn’t walk that far. I couldn’t get up off the toilet by myself for the first while. Talk about being humbled.

It did however, give me a much more understanding view of life. Facing death and having real lasting suffering in some small way helped me to understand that we are ALL suffering, though it is not always as obvious as one might think. Mine was not obvious, but it was VERY real. Once I understood that in the much more real fashion that it now was (is), I am able to see that I am no better or worse, that I am just as needful of humility and kindness and mercy as anyone. And If I want to have those things, and have the mercy of the Lord extended to me, I need to realize in all things that I am nothing. Because of this, how much more do I need the kindness and understanding of others? That though I suffered, HE suffered for us all. And through that small suffering of mine I need to be more thankful of how marvellous life is, even with all of its challenges. It is a wonderful time to be alive, and I need to revel in it, and allow others to do so, and to give them the love and kindness our Lord would. At least, as much as I am able to.